Begin Again.

I know you're here,
I know you hear,
I know your heart is softer than fur.

Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide,
Sometimes I'm scared of what you feel inside.

But you have proven, to be faithful,
To forgive and love, show mercy and trust.

We were once close, I confided in you,
But when we got closer, to run was my first notion.

Although years passed, and we talk again,
I could never forget that season's end.

I'm sorry Lord, please help me forgive myself,
If you have also, my runaway laid down.

I have today, become someone else,
Someone weaker, less wise, less control of self.

Even through the years, we kept in contact,
I want more than this, than now what we have.

I need you, O God, help me find you,
You who are here, and far yet near.

Why do I run to you, but always look back,
Will I never be able, to reach you again,
This journey is hard, I've packed and unpacked,
But I don't want to give up, I'll never consent.

Wait for me Lord, because I am slow,
Help me to hurry, so I don't miss the boat,
I want to search, yet I find it so hard,
With distractions around, I must keep focused my heart.

Ideas and blabber, I have plenty,
Skills and gifts, I doubt my own share,
Help me to focus on training what I have,
Help me reduce and forget to compare.

What person am I? Am I still the same?
I feel in these years, I have much changed.

I want to go back, change back again,
To where I once was, just seeking your Name,
O Lord, help me to press on, in beginning again.