Break Through.

There is a darkness,

We have each been through,

Age of twelve,

Where we had dwelved,

Deeper than our youth allowed.

Innocent,

But accused,

Treated like your feelings don't matter,

Depressed by,

Words abused,

In the end you heart to shatter.

At one point,

My mom thought,

She was losing me to insanity,

Perhaps she was,

My head burnt hot,

I was never never angry.

I'd set my brows down in fury,

Always leaving in a hurry,

To cry in the back of the car,

Pretending that I was asleep,

Behold, hiding inside a scar,

That had cut me way too deep.

I didn't even know,

How furious I was,

Every word I let out,

Made me believe the curse;

Every word I speak,

Was bound to hurt someone,

Even when I didn't mean it,

In the way they received it.

I had long forgiven,

And much of it forgotten,

Some of it today I recall,

Watching his video,

Today we stand taller,

Than 12 years ago.

But the effects still ring true,

I am still learning to break through,

This is the root,

Of my fear of me,

I fear my free speech,

Will injure you,

This is the why,

I fear to say,

Much about anything,

Something always gets misunderstood,

By someone.

But I am learning,

To trust that you,

Will still be a friend,

Even when I screw up.

I am seeing that when I pretend,

I suffocate, and you as much.

I am understanding,

That without bad means or intention,

Sometimes it is not me but them,

Who needs transformation.

I hate lies,

And pretense,

But why do I feel like,

There is something I still hide,

Even when I have been genuine?

I long to be free,

But who is strong enough,

To embrace the full me?

Whose heart is tough,

And godly?

What am I holding back?

I hate that I am too politically correct,

Come on someone, I need a challenge,

Don't help me fall, if you can't balance,

Catching me; and I will catch you,

And challenge you,

If you are able to take it.

Transparency, honesty, curiosity, sensitivity, criticising constructively, encouraging positively, being angry righteously, rebuking politely, filial piety,

And above all, being holy;

Of course there's more, life is a journey,

Always to learn, 

Time to get our hands dirty.