I Would Love To. :)

He isn’t perfect, I know. But there’s something about him I can’t quite put my finger on. Having had a crush on a boy so close to you yet is somebody you don’t know, feels so far away. We’ve been in the same school for four years now. I’d see him at least once a day whenever I go for recess with my friends and him with his. That’s how I knew of his existence.

I don’t know him personally. I’m a complete stranger to him. But it doesn’t matter, now that I’ve gotten over him. I walked into the classroom where the chess club meetings were normally held and to my surprise, found him there. I was a chess club member and had never seen him attend before.

“Oh, Elyshia, you’re here. Meet Derrick, my buddy. He’s finally decided to quit lazing at home and to join chess” said a happy Toby.

“Hi” I waved at him, not knowing what to express on my face.

“Hi” he simply smiled.

“Care for a game?” Derrick offered.

When the match started, I felt pretty nervous. Throughout the game, I couldn’t stop fidgeting. He was pretty good at it too. I wonder what the outcome would be..

*******************************************************************

Gasp! I won!!

Victory always tastes sweet but a slight pang of guilt lingered in my stomach. It always feels bad to beat the other person. I looked at him and felt the guilt taking over me.

“What’s with that face?” Derrick said chuckling “I’m not upset, chillax.”

“You sure? Okay then. By the way, chillax is my word.”

“Ahaha. I used it first.”

“Oh yeah? Win this match and I’ll agree” I arranged the pieces of my board kingdom.

“Deal.”

When the hands in my watch showed 4.30 p.m. we packed the boards up and all of us left for home. Only me, Derrick, Toby and Shelly was left at the bus stop. I started to walk away to the nearby park just to refresh myself before I head for home and waved goodbye to all of them. Toby and Shelly waved back. Derrick jogged after me. I wonder what he wants?

“I’ll go with you. I live nearby.”

“Oh. Okay..”

As we walked, I could feel my breath getting unstable. I’ve never walked alone, side-by-side with him before. And I’ve only just officially met him today!

The walk to the park seemed to take longer than it would’ve normally taken me. We didn’t talk for the first 3 minutes. The atmosphere and growing silence between us made me feel a little awkward yet it was still comfortable to be in the silent mood with him.

“So, what kind of a person are you?”

“That’s a little straightforward. Haha. Well, I’m a, sort of, lame person. I like food and sports. “

“Really? Sports like chess?”

“Haha. Nooo. I DO play sports. Like basketball and I like to run.”

“Okay. You’re a girl and you play basketball. I would like to see what you can do” He said it in a tone that sounded like he was teasing me. In defense, I said

“I CAN play!” I stopped at my words, reflected on my terrible skills, and hesitated to say

“One day.. One day..”

And then I heard the funniest chuckle I heard from him! He’s so adorable!

When we reached the park, I walked straight to the swings, leaving poor Derrick behind. When I looked back to see where he was, I couldn’t see him! Confused, I turned back to the front and saw him standing 2 feet in front of me, looking like he had skipped his breathing for some moments.

“I’m ninja” he said while doing some “ninja” movements.

I burst into laughter. When I had composed myself, I took a few more steps and sat on my orange swing. I would call it my swing because I’m a regular swinger on that particular swing. It made no squeaky noise as the others would if I were to swing on them. One kick on the ground and a few swings sent me up in the air, playing with the wind. I had always loved the breeze. When I felt scared, I would slow down and let the swing gently carry me to and fro.

I like looking at the trees surrounding the playground. There were a few trees two or three meters in front of the swings. I had almost forgotten I had company with me. Derrick sat on the swing next to mine and moved lightly on it, his legs still on the ground.

“Aren’t you going home?” I asked.

“I’m not rushing. And, I can’t leave you here alone.”

“Oh. My house is just opposite the park, right there.”

I pointed to a house with a white gate and tea green paint on the front of the house. The roof was tiled with brown zinc tiles. It gave a comfy little cottage feel. The grass filling the small portion of land next to where the car is normally parked was grass from Taiwan and was soft and smooth. I loved that feel. In fact, I designed the front part of the house and my own room.

“Oh! Mine is on the opposite side.”

We both crossed the chains on our swings to face the other side of the park. He pointed to a cream painted house with black gates. His house had a little green shade over the front part of the house.

“Is this where you normally hang out?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is” I smiled as I recalled my memories here.

I smiled, laughed and cried here. In this very park, on this very swing. I’d complain to God about the rough times and cry, then I’d apologize for it because it was unnecessary complaining and talk to Him about other things.

“Want to come for CF this week?”

“CF?”

“Yeah. You know, Christian Fellowship.”

“Oh. Maybe. When is it?”

“Friday” I smiled, hoping he’d come.

“I’ll come if I have nothing I have to do” he smiled back.

We talked about school activities, mutual friends and found that we had some things in common. The sky seemed to darken in an orange atmosphere. The sun was setting but the sun itself was blocked from our sight behind a roof. I stood up from the still swing and told him that I was heading home. We said goodbye. He was standing in front of the swing even after I’ve closed the gates of my house. He waved goodbye and I waved back. I saw him leaving the park to head for home. I turned around and smiled to myself. It was a fun day.

The first CF meeting of the year brought excitement to my knees. This is the second week of school and everyone new in school, the Form 1s specifically, are bound to feel awkward. The friendly ushers greeted them and brought them in. I was doing the registration and helping a friend mark his attendance when I saw Derrick coming up the stairs. It’s not that I had an eye for him but the registration table was place 2 feet from the stairs. He came over to take his attendance.

“I didn’t know you registered as a member” I said while drawing a tick in the first checkbox after his name.

“I hadn’t come for four years, because of tuition and all, so I thought I should, at least, come on the last year of school. I’m a Christian too you know.”

I looked at him, a little surprise. I didn’t know that. Of course I didn’t. My friend next to me, also helping in registration nudged me and asked who was Derrick. I simply replied that he was a new friend. She punched me lightly on the arm and then we both packed up and went into the classroom to join the rest of the members.

After everything that day, I hurried home as I was going to be late to an appointment I made with my friend at her house. We’d talk and play basketball usually. ‘Run, baby, run!’ from the song ‘Check, Yes, Juliet’ was all I heard in my mind as I raced out. I almost didn’t notice my classmate waving me goodbye. I took a quick shower, had a short lunch and got on my bike.

After 2 hours of non-stop talking and laughing, I decided to head back. On my way back, I decided to stop at the park nearby for a while. It was darker and smaller than the one near school, but the feeling it gives is so comfortable. In the middle of my small walk, I saw Derrick walking his dog.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, surprised.

“What are YOU doing here?”

“I just came from a friend’s house.”

“Well, I’m walking my dog” he smiled a white smile with his lollipop stick sticking out.

“I thought you lived near school?”

“Yeah. I said I live nearby. This isn’t so far, right?” He seemed confused.

“Then that house..”

“Oh! That was a joke” he chuckled.

I didn’t know what to say so I laughed along. We talked for a while and I found out where he REALLY lived. Then, I rode home.

In class, Stacy asked me if I knew Derrick. I gave a positive answer. She told me he was from her church. She said she saw me and him talking during CF and just wondered. Well, okay. On Monday, I normally stay back for Art club. We were doing a mural for one of the school’s building’s back near the school’s garden. We were planning to create a garden feel, as though you could walk into it. We started with simple sketches and left the details to be done later when we paint.

Everyone left for home as they had tuitions to attend. I offered to stay since there was nothing I could do at home which was more exciting and there were only a few more sketches to go. The teacher advisor had to go too. I stayed through the afternoon session. I felt so at peace being alone, drawing. As the second last ring of the bell rang, I walked out of school, towards the park. I saw my swing waiting patiently for me in the sunset. The view was so beautiful. Sigh. It’s perfect for me to just sink in for a moment.

I looked around and saw no one around me. I boldly started a tune. I began singing ‘Holes Inside’ by Joe Brooks, my favourite song. As I got more confident, I sang louder. I was already on the next song. Suddenly, someone joined me in the song.

“But I could only write this song” the voice sang.

I stopped and turned.

“Why did you stop?”

I didn’t know what to say. I felt a little embarrassed because not many have heard my singing before. CF people would have heard me singing during CF, church members and my family. But only them and the surrounding noises and voices would normally overpower mine.

“You like that song? I know how to sing it” he teased.

“Yeah but I didn’t know guys were into … guys” I let out a breath of laugh.

“Oh no, I’m not. Taylor Swift is more my thing” he winked.

“Sure, sure.”

Suddenly, we talked about music and songs we liked and didn’t liked, hot artists and then it shifted to music instruments that we played and so on. I asked what he was doing, being in the park and he said he just finished a game of futsal. Before the orange shade of the sky disappeared, we bid our goodbyes and headed to our respective homes.

I hadn’t known him all these years and now I know he’s athletic, plays the guitar, bass and piano, super friendly, funny and sarcastic, is smart, is a Christian plus he’s tall and good looking. But Derrick was far from my grasp. He was just too good to be true. I couldn’t fall for him a second time. It was odd, for me, at that time.

I went to school on Tuesday like any normal day but with just a little feel of excitement and jitter in my blood. Will I see him today? What does he think about me? Stop. Why am I thinking of him? I can’t, I can’t. I can’t like someone like him. He’s out of my league. My thoughts kept my head occupied till I reached the classroom, still wondering about how I felt about him. I think I like him. Again.

I stayed back to start painting the mural. Five of us, including the teacher, started from the big pictures, then dotting down to the last details. I went to the park after that as usual and somehow unexpectedly anticipated for a certain someone’s arrival. I went to bed that night wondering about the hollow feeling in my body. I guess I was just excited because I had a new friend who appeared to be quite an attractive guy. Oh well.

The next day, during chess, I played a game with Toby. He had improved so much! Shelly, his sister, was not half bad. Carl, my Form 4 classmate, was so-so in his strategies but I would say that he was quite above the average players. About 30 minutes into the club’s meeting time, Derrick appeared beside Toby, who was just about to be checkmated by my queen.

“Let me show you the way to play” Derrick said with a cheeky grin.

“Alright” I said, excited at the note of a new game and the sight of the new player.

This time, he used a strategy I had never seen before. Alas, I lost the fight. What was worst was that his pawn was the killer of my king.

After chess, I headed straight for home as I was tired. Thursday and Friday went by quick. In CF, I would talk a lot. I’d always have the best time talking to Damien. He has so much to say! I talked to Derrick too that day and I guess that we’re pretty good friends now by the way he talked and responded.

Derrick would occasionally stop by my class and the neighbouring classes just to have a chat with all his previous classmates and friends including me. I guess that he’s a pretty popular person. On Friday, he invited me and about 10 of his close friends to a party at his house. He was turning 17 that Saturday! At the party, I found that I knew at least half of the people there. I had a pretty good time. He allowed certain friends to enter his room and I was one of them who had the pleasure of ravaging through his many CDs and we even took pictures together in his room. We did many crazy posts. Hazel and I even posed for a jump shot despite the compact space of the room. He looked like he enjoyed himself as well. At the end of the party, someone started to sing a Taylor Swift song and in no time, the rest joined in. Derrick sang the loudest.

I rushed to the science lab after dumping my bag in class. I woke up late this morning and had just had my name written down by a prefect. I didn’t want to miss anything for Biology so I instinctively raced myself down the stairs to the lab. I looked at the books in my hands to check if they were the right ones I grabbed from my bag. Bump!

“Whoa. Slow down” I heard a voice say.

My spectacles’ box slipped off my Biology text book and touched the ground, opening its mouth and spilling out its insides. I looked up.

“Sorry Toby. I wasn’t looking.”

“It’s okay” he said and bent down to help me only to find another pair of hands rush to put the glasses back in the case.

“Here you go” a third voice said.

“Thanks Derrick” I said and ran off to the lab.

He’s so nice, I thought. But I’ll only ever be a friend to him. I sighed.

Last week’s holiday for the Chinese New Year brought back many gifts for me. Many of my friends went overseas or at least over the state’s border for a vacation. One of my friends gave me a Taylor Swift signed pick. I immediately thought of Derrick.

“Derrick! Derrick! I got this from a friend and thought that it’d suit you more! Here you go!”

“Pawesome. You sure?”

“Yeah!”

“Thanks!”

He hugged me. Thank goodness we were in the park or people would’ve misunderstood. We’re pretty close friends now. These few days, we’ve been talking on the internet a lot. I feel like he has something for me too but I’m not too sure and I don’t want to jump into conclusions. Maybe I’m feeling this way because of the past feelings I had for him and the current feelings I’m having. Nahh, he couldn’t have anything like that for me.

Next Tuesday was Valentine’s Day. I’m feeling a little exhilarated. I liked giving gifts to my fellow girlfriends and some of the boys whom I am close to and feel comfortable enough to send them a gift. On Friday, after CF, I walked myself to the park again. Derrick was at the swings. I paced towards the swings to greet him. He smiled and sat on the green swing. I sat on my usual orange seat and waited for him to talk as he looked like he had something to say.

“Do you want to go out with me on Valentine’s Day?”

I stunned and thought for a while. Screech! Should I? Would I be free? Why is he asking me this? It couldn’t be that he …?

“And keep seeing me after that?” he continued.

“Umm, give me some time to think. This is a little sudden.”

I hesitated. I was a little afraid somehow. I like him. And now I find out he likes me.

“Okay” he said, got on his bike, smiled, waved, and rode home.

On Sunday, I received a mail from Derrick, asking about my reply. I thought about it for a long time. Then I replied him and told him to read a story I wrote on my blog as his reply. I titled it ‘I would love to :)’.

Love, Elyshia.